Ethos of Dressing
& Still Here 'Girl Skirt'
What are the pillars of how you dress?
Can you sum it up in concise words? Or is it just a feeling you follow in the moment? Have you ever sat down to ask yourself why you dress the way you do? What influences your style? Why you may, say, prefer men’s trousers over women’s? Do you even care enough to ask yourself these questions?
I found solace in dressing myself as a misplaced kid with too grand imaginations and dreams to fit the parameters of such a small town. I had nothing but time to think and ask questions. Like anything in life things outgrow and change (variables) but I do believe in (constants) foundations — an ethos to dressing that cuts to the core of oneself. Formed in my adolescence and continuing to take even more shape now, here are my pillars. What are yours?
Masculin Féminin
Etched into my high school ‘fashion design’ elective class notebook is the statement, “my style is a combination of both masculine and feminine.” I don’t think I was aware of how true that statement was and still currently is. Next to it magazine clippings of a little black sheath dress and Bottega clutch. I unconsciously leaned European since fifteen. Freshman year delights in exploration of identity.
Never full femme, much more comfortable in my masculine yet conscious of my desire to never pivot to both extremes, the dichotomy of masculin féminin is utterly enticing and I revel in it. It is the interplay of differences and where they meet and coexist together in an outfit —or way of life, really. Because we are both and everything at once. We cannot possibly live in the polar ends at all times. Complexity is what makes it chic. So very French— très français.
Looped internal monologue when dressing: “Is this too masculine or is this too feminine?” and then figure the in-between. Men’s trousers with an oversized coat? Then I would consider a smaller, tighter top. Or if an equally baggy sweater is thrown into the mix, then a slimmer shoe and some jewelry, or styled hair is taken into account. Or if my entire outfit is as if I rummaged through my I bought everything two sizes too big for too many years, it only takes a high femme over-the-shoulder power bag to counteract and bring about peace.
I love contradictions. We all are— embrace it.
“If it’s not comfortable, I’m not wearing it.” — one of the Olsen twins
I must have read this in my youth as it stuck with me to become a truism. I am not a fussy dresser and never will be; can’t be bothered too much with sartorial nuisances. My threshold for small irritabilities in life is at a low bar and I like it that way. A pair of sliding down your shoe socks or loose underwear because you hand wash instead of machine can throw off my whole day. Dressing needs to have purpose and function just as much as aesthetic pleasure.
Utility of clothing matters. What we wear lies in what we do in our day to day life. Does it serve its intended purpose? Can you wear it on most occasions? Does it necessitate freedom of movement? For me, dressing must allow all of the above. It must also be visually pleasing, yes, but that doesn’t mean a thing if it’s not wearable. I often shutter at impulsive purchases where an article of clothing is deemed completely useless after a few wears as it is fabricated with lies in every stitch because not only is it not quite your taste but also functionally inept— you only bought it because it was designer sample sale!
Clothes are a second skin. I must forget it is on to be at peace and my most confident. It is another layer which subsumes onto the body becoming one. Have you thrown together the perfect outfit matched to your day then ran around town so in tandem with it you forgot it was on? It moves with you in the day interacting seamlessly with all variables. No adjustments necessary. Tugs and pulls nowhere to be found. Questioning insecurities around every corner replaced with bliss content as if you could do just about anything, anywhere and it would turn out in your favor.
If so, you have found your second skin. Gravitate towards that.
Lived In-ness
“Can you please not wear your weird outfits?” jabbed a friend to me once as we got dressed together for a night out. I take that sleight of hand diss as a badge of honor in fact. Outfits with zero character traits and only a modicum of taste particular to oneself does not register in my head as anything more than a copy and paste of what circulates the internet for mass consumption translated to real life walking, talking TikTok videos on the streets of New York City.
Be trend-less by being you. Individuals who dress so intrenched in who they are are icons, living. Personality dressing can be spotted a mile out. I am like a hound dog sniffing out the ones I associate with in this breed. It is the way clothes lay on you and how you walk in it. How it moves with you and what you do in it. How effortless it looks on, a part of who you just are. ‘You are wearing it, it’s not wearing you’ mantra. Partly why brands co-opt utilitarian worker wear as it is lived in authenticity the elites lack.
But then incorporating something slightly off to make people go, “hmmmm?” is the kicker and the Aquarius in me playing with identity and conventions. Effortlessness is a word that gets thrown around a lot in fashion but I attest to its precision. I try not to look overdone; as if I spent too much time in front of the mirror. An air of “oh, I just threw this on” and sometimes I did but other times it took an hour but I don’t want it to be presented as such is a way of life. There is something about dressing for your way of life in an aware, elevated manner that is timeless. Everyone’s way is different so you dress unique to that but it is about honoring that life and who you are where dressing comes into lock step authenticity.
Still Here ‘Girl Skirt’
As a kid legs ajar anytime I sat, I was relentlessly chastised by male elders who disapproved of my mode of position. “Girls don’t sit with their legs open,” they verbally admonished. I climbed gnarled neighborhood trees, ran with cousins around the block barefoot, counted fallen helicopter leaves all while wearing pants; skirts (or dresses) were relegated to church, weddings, and sometimes school picture day. I was a girl and am a woman who is comfortable with her internal and externalized masculine within the feminine.
The co-founder and creative director of Still Here, Sonia Mosseri has an equally complex origin story. “I got skirted,” she retold to me over conversation at their flagship store on Elizabeth St in the city. Born out of her yeshiva school dress code where girls were made to wear skirts over the knee, her quote cheekily displays adolescent banter when one got caught playing outside the rules. More proclivities toward pants, her relation to skirts is invariably tied to her upbringing like me.
instagram: @stillherenewyork
What is a woman's relationship to skirts then? How do women who lean masculine, and yet still feminine, relate to skirts? What is our origin story? Has that relationship changed as we’ve gotten older?
I styled their new ‘Girl Skirt’ for a shoot and was thrilled to play with a new garment. My relationship with the brand has been rolling on for three or so years now. Joyous to see them grow even more with two stores and countless campaigns— I am always in awe of how they do it. Many more to come.
I imagined this shoot as ‘In-Transit Personas’. The way we dress on the subway to either blend in or stick out depending on our mood. The introvert versus the extrovert. Do I want to peacock today or not? A set of looks were Carolyn Bessette, the others Leandra Medine Cohen. Minimalist and maximalist. The versatility of the Girl Skirt for both kinds of women.
School Uniform
Carolyn Bessette-esque
Sport le Chic
The Icon
What are your ethos of dressing?
Let me know, x.
Oh girl you know I’m a grab and go pisces, But lately as I get “wiser” I sometimes pause and think. I live with a designer who will mess with my collar, belt, coat, boots until I have to 🏃 away. He will scream this is my favorite lewk of all each time as I run for shelter. I love to muss it all up just a bit once I’m out of sight at the subway ❤️. Love the red tights with the Still Here skirt very chic on you 🫶.
loved it all, thank you <33333333 so inspiring